If it is not already obvious, Sophie is an extension of myself. At least, she is the way I wished that I was when I was a little girl. I suppose that every kid imagines that they have magical powers at some point in there lives. Our imaginations are pretty much at their peak in childhood and mine was no different.
Sophie was more of my escape than anything. As a child, I was bullied relentlessly and that led to me having depression and anxiety at a an early age. Mind you, both of these went completely untreated throughout my entire childhood. I’m really not going to go through the whole sad story that was my life, I’m sure that’s another post for another time. Ultimately, I lived in books; in other worlds that did not belong to me because mine wasn’t always so great. I imagined places where I was powerful, where things could be different, but also places where I could still be myself. Sophie, was and is a version of myself that I wish that I could be. Even though she is still a hell of a lot like me in many different ways.
She is not a perfect protagonist and that is exactly what I wanted. Too many protagonists are ‘squeaky clean’ and can do no wrong. Sophie is flawed, much like me, and that is okay. She wants to do the right thing but that doesn’t always work out, especially since the right thing for her isn’t the right thing for everyone else. She’s brash, feisty, somewhat selfish, mentally ill, loving, caring, sweet, and most of all she is a person. I do not shy away from her issues in the book, especially those concerning her mental health. Often I feel like those characteristics are shied away from but those characteristics make Sophie who she is. Also, she is not mentally ill in some weird ‘pseudo-romantic’ way. It is realistic in the way that my mental illnesses are realistic, there is no way they make me ‘hauntingly beautiful’ or anything fucking ridiculous like that.
Hopefully I did it right and I hope that people can see just what exactly I’m trying to portray through Sophie. I also hope that she will give you the chance to get to know me just a little bit. Though I promise you I do not have any supernatural powers (wouldn’t that be awesome though?). Alas, my only superpower is remembering to take my meds everyday and maintain a small bit of sanity.
What else would you like to know? About me, about Sophie, or about my book in general?