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Waiting is Torture

I am so ready to get this book out there and the wait is driving me crazy. I know, editing and formatting are things that cannot be skipped. These things are really the most crucial part of the process but I am so ready.

I have been emailing bookstores and now I’m trying to find book reviewers as well. I am trying to really set myself up for the most success possible. I am terrible at self-promotion because I hate talking about myself. I always feel like I’m bragging or something and it makes me super uncomfortable. However, I am really going to have to get over that. Like super fast.

It is something that I work on in therapy constantly. Being able to believe in myself and stop selling myself short on everything I do. I have to learn that it’s okay to be proud of myself and it is okay to celebrate my accomplishments. But how on Earth do I do that? How does anyone really?

This is what is holding me back from having a release party. I want to do it but it would basically be an entire celebration about me. Truth be told, I don’t even like birthday parties that much (I mean I will have them but ya know). I think it’s my anxiety really, all that attention on me makes me nervous. Maybe all writers are like that and it’s sort of counter intuitive. You want to share your work with the world but also want to hide in the shadows at the same time. It is difficult to have both I suppose.

I’m going to do this and I’m really going to face my fears while doing this. I think that’s the most important part of this whole journey. Growing past the things that scare me and learning more about myself in the process. Still haven’t gotten over my minor agoraphobia but I’m gonna get there. Oh yea, I didn’t mention that, I have a big fear of leaving my house. I do leave my house but I’m at a heightened state of anxiety the whole time I’m out. It sucks but I’m working on getting better. So yea, it’s time to face my fears and grow.

A. Rose

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