So my book signing at Barnes & Noble is Saturday. I am thrilled to get this underway and hope the turnout is good.

I have been going through and dealing with some very complicated things in my personal life. Suffice to say, I am trying to push through but that does not seem to be working much anymore. I continue to write because it distracts me from that reality but sooner or later I am going to have to be honest with myself.

Mental illness is a tricky thing. Its a hard thing. Its a complicated thing. One day you’re fine, the next day you’re not and you’re not even sure why. I haven’t been okay in a while even though I have been telling everyone that I am. I wear a mask in everyday life but that mask is starting to crack and fall apart. My ruse at some point will no longer work. I do not want to go into much detail about everything as there are people I would prefer not know everything.

This post ended up being sadder than I expected it to be but if I can’t be honest on my own blog, where else can I be? Mental illness is kicking me in the face. I am treading water and no longer have the energy to even try and swim. I find solace in my writing because besides my relationship, it’s about all I have left to cling to.

But again, on a lighter note. I hope to see you at my signing Saturday if you’re in the area. Good tidings and happy days to you all.

A. Rose

1 thought on “Complicated”

  1. It’s very real and very common. You are not alone. My sister and her partner both go through, and have for their entire adult lives. Society still sometimes treats mental illness in a poor light, which is rather ridiculous, adding further anxiety and fear of losing friends, etc, even with all we now know about it.
    How our modern society heaps on stress, workload, and anxiety have only exacerbated a tough situation, and the triggers of social media often do little to offset it. On the other hand, the ability to reach out and have conversations with others facing similar challenges is possible because of that social network. It is as much a sickness/injury as anything else we suffer from. However, because it messes with our happiness, energy, and ability to function it is often far too misunderstood.
    I think it’s great that you reached out through your blog. Thanks for sharing your journey with me and others. I don’t have any solutions or advice but I hope you find venues with others in similar situations so you can share and support each other. When my world has exploded in my face what has always saved me is the kind, selfless act of another.

    Liked by 1 person

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