blog

Complicated

So my book signing at Barnes & Noble is Saturday. I am thrilled to get this underway and hope the turnout is good.

I have been going through and dealing with some very complicated things in my personal life. Suffice to say, I am trying to push through but that does not seem to be working much anymore. I continue to write because it distracts me from that reality but sooner or later I am going to have to be honest with myself.

Mental illness is a tricky thing. Its a hard thing. Its a complicated thing. One day you’re fine, the next day you’re not and you’re not even sure why. I haven’t been okay in a while even though I have been telling everyone that I am. I wear a mask in everyday life but that mask is starting to crack and fall apart. My ruse at some point will no longer work. I do not want to go into much detail about everything as there are people I would prefer not know everything.

This post ended up being sadder than I expected it to be but if I can’t be honest on my own blog, where else can I be? Mental illness is kicking me in the face. I am treading water and no longer have the energy to even try and swim. I find solace in my writing because besides my relationship, it’s about all I have left to cling to.

But again, on a lighter note. I hope to see you at my signing Saturday if you’re in the area. Good tidings and happy days to you all.

A. Rose

blog

Waiting is Torture

I am so ready to get this book out there and the wait is driving me crazy. I know, editing and formatting are things that cannot be skipped. These things are really the most crucial part of the process but I am so ready.

I have been emailing bookstores and now I’m trying to find book reviewers as well. I am trying to really set myself up for the most success possible. I am terrible at self-promotion because I hate talking about myself. I always feel like I’m bragging or something and it makes me super uncomfortable. However, I am really going to have to get over that. Like super fast.

It is something that I work on in therapy constantly. Being able to believe in myself and stop selling myself short on everything I do. I have to learn that it’s okay to be proud of myself and it is okay to celebrate my accomplishments. But how on Earth do I do that? How does anyone really?

This is what is holding me back from having a release party. I want to do it but it would basically be an entire celebration about me. Truth be told, I don’t even like birthday parties that much (I mean I will have them but ya know). I think it’s my anxiety really, all that attention on me makes me nervous. Maybe all writers are like that and it’s sort of counter intuitive. You want to share your work with the world but also want to hide in the shadows at the same time. It is difficult to have both I suppose.

I’m going to do this and I’m really going to face my fears while doing this. I think that’s the most important part of this whole journey. Growing past the things that scare me and learning more about myself in the process. Still haven’t gotten over my minor agoraphobia but I’m gonna get there. Oh yea, I didn’t mention that, I have a big fear of leaving my house. I do leave my house but I’m at a heightened state of anxiety the whole time I’m out. It sucks but I’m working on getting better. So yea, it’s time to face my fears and grow.

A. Rose

blog

Oh, Editing

Not exactly my favorite part of writing but definitely a much needed process. I will admit that while I can cook up a story, often times my grammar and structure fall to the wayside. I’m in such a hurry to get the story out, which causes me to overlook things that I probably should not be. I mean who could fault me? We all do it.

I appreciate my editors more than I can say. A second set of eyes is more than a want for me, it is a need. Without them this book would most likely be a very big mess. Even if I go back and read my own work (which I do), there are things that I will miss. There are things that I have missed that they have caught, much to my appreciation. Not to mention the very helpful constructive criticism I receive. So if you love this book, you have them to thank as well.

I’m happy that I am in the editing stages because that means I’m almost ready to publish. I will be publishing in January, I want to wait until my boyfriend and I are settled after we move before I add anything else to my plate. Right now I am trying to find ways to promote myself and get some small hype around this book. I am also figuring out how to throw a release party as well. These are things I need help with. I need book reviewers, small independent book stores that would be interested in my book, and ways to get the word out there. I cannot do that without a network and without support.

It may be a lot to ask but I typically don’t ask for much. So as I am editing and getting this book put together, I hope to get people interested in it. How do you do this? What would you suggest?

A. Rose

blog

Sneak Peek!

Here is a sneak peek at the cover art that I am currently considering. It is my current top front-runner, done by the absolutely amazing John Lombardi of Illume Allure Imagery. Words cannot express how much I enjoy his work! Tell me what you think. Do you like it? Do you hate it? What else would you like to see on the cover?8S2A8513-Edit-Edit-Edit

A. Rose