blog

Not Running Away

There are times when I get scared, a lot more than I would like to. It often causes me to give up on projects before they are even finished because I’m too afraid of the possible outcome. Right now is really no different than all of those other times.

I am afraid. I’m afraid of failing, I am afraid of putting myself so far out there, and most of all I am afraid of disappointing those that believe in me. I think that this is a rational fear to have, even if I hate it. I guess that if I’m not scared then that must mean that I don’t care, right? At least that’s what people say. Right now, the only thing my brain is telling me to do is to “tuck my tail and run” but I am not going to do that. The only way I can disappoint those that believe in me, is to quit.

Like I have said many times, this is a dream that I have had for so long. If I give up on it, I really would be letting myself down more than anyone else. All my life I have wanted to be a writer and now the opportunity is starting me in the face; it makes me incredibly anxious. What if it turns out that I’m not a writer at all? That I’m not as talented as I hope that I am? I know I have to believe in myself and part of me does, it’s just that mental illness part of me that picks at that. This may be a ‘woe is me’ post but hey, its my blog. Imitatore means everything to me. I have put in so much time, effort, sleepless nights, and now money. I just don’t want it all to be for nothing.

I have to believe that it won’t be. I have to believe that this book will reach someone somewhere. In fact, I know that it will.

A. Rose

blog

Let the Fundraising Begin!

With many nerves and tons of fear, I have finally launched my fundraising campaign to self-publish my book. This is something that is out of the normal for me as I usually do not like asking for money but I figured why not. What I hope is to receive enough funds to pay for marketing and formatting services through Amazon. As well as order books to host signings and such.

Your help and support is greatly appreciated a will not go unrewarded either. If you choose to donate, you will receive a signed copy of my book! I know it’s probably not a huge consolation prize but it is what I have to give you. Check out my campaign message and donate if you can! Thank you!

 

https://www.gofundme.com/ARoseWritingfund

 

A. Rose

 

blog

Going for Broke

A phrase used quite a lot but it is definitely something I always feel like I am doing. I put my all into pretty much everything I do and I hardly ever expect results from it. The reason for this is because I love the things that I do. If someone else loves them too, that’s great, but it is not the only reason I do things. That sounds crazy full of myself but I promise you I am not.

I spend a lot of time wondering why I do things, or rather, why I try to do things. I am constantly plagued with self-doubt and anxiety, so the additional stress at times hardly seems worth it. Truth be told, nine times out of ten I give up on a project before it is even finished. I have so many unfinished poems and stories that I don’t even know if I would qualify myself as a writer sometimes. It is all very, woe is me, but whatever. Where am I going with this? Oh yea that’s right, going for broke.

With Imitatore, I am going for broke. I am going to self-publish this book and put myself further out there than I ever have before. It is absolutely the most nerve racking thing I will ever do and I do burlesque. I have a hard time sharing my writing, simply because I am always afraid that no one will like it or understand it. I know, that in the end that part doesn’t matter. What matters is how I feel about the work that I put out but it is still nice if someone likes what I do. There are no guarantees that anyone will like Imitatore, none at all but I am not going to let that stop me; not this time.

With self-publishing comes inevitable expenses and as a broke college student, that word scares me. I don’t know if I could work up the courage to do a gofundme or a kickstarter because I really hate asking for money. That and I have no idea who would want to donate to something like that. Especially when there is no guarantee that this book will even be successful. I know I have to do something because I believe in this project, I just don’t know what I am going to do yet. I need luck, confidence, and so many other things. I am slowly finding them along the way, hopefully everything falls into place soon.

 

What have some of you done in your own self-publishing journeys? Have you raised money through a crowdfunding campaign or did you go it alone?

A. Rose